For those of you who promised yourself that 2013 was going to be the year you finally meet “the one”, you’ve probably made every effort to change your love life from finding ways to meet new people to changing your mantra on life. But while that is all good, there may be some key things you are forgetting to do when it comes to finding a mate – and it all has to do with you. Here are five non-compromising, simple and easy tips on how you can move past the dating game and finally get the relationship you’ve always wanted by just being yourself. Pretty easy, huh?
- Confront reality
I hate to be “that person” who looks at the world for what it actually is, but in order to finally get a boyfriend or girlfriend you need to accept reality. What does that mean? Well it means not only searching for a tall, handsome and rich gent who works in the finance district because you want someone who will fuel both your sexual and money desires or not going out with someone unless they have the exact piercing blue eyes of Ian Somerhalder (read: I adore his eyes). The point is that Mr. Perfect does not need to be the standards you see in society, but the standards you admire as a person. This isn’t to say focus on the bad stuff, but rather take what you see in front of you – don’t avoid it – and decide whether or not it works for you.
2. Change your outlook
If you made it past my semi-brutal introduction, than you’ll be glad to follow this tip, which is all about changing your outlook for the good. If you’re looking for love, you are probably constantly bombarded with statements like “you have to think positive” and “love will come to those who invite it in”, and although they’re annoying to hear over and over (and over) they are true. If you tell yourself you will be happy with someone who has the same interest in Indie music as you do or you want to meet someone who enjoys going to art galleries, you’re making the first step in changing the way you think and approach relationships. Keep a positive, open outlook when you’re entering or in the dating game and never deny anyone just because they don’t match up with exactly every single trait on your ideal boyfriend list. If they match up with at least one, give them a try and get to know them better.
3. Decide what you really want
We’ve all been there – even me – where if I meet a guy who is really great I think he’s too great and if I meet one who is slightly boring, he is too boring. Time to get off the teeter-totter of mixed messages and find out what will really makes you happy. If you want someone who listens to you, find that person. End of story. Don’t moan or sigh when they hang on your every word because that’s what you asked for. If you’re just clear and confident on the needs you require in a relationship, the relationship will reflect your needs.
4. Set a timeline
Like every other goal you set on January 1st, setting a goal to seal the deal is just as important. Depending on your personality, you may set a goal for April or May or you may be so precise your goal like February 14 at 11:59 p.m. Whatever you timeline is stick to it and be positive and believe it will happen and don’t get upset if the person your dating makes it official in June rather than May – just as long as your goal is met within your time frame and don’t be swayed if it doesn’t happen because it will happen. Promise.
5. Live and Enjoy
With all the tips, rules and advice of the dating world it’s hard to remember that dating can be really fun! You get to meet new people, personalities and hopefully in the end you find someone who compliments you. Don’t make the finding a boyfriend a task – make it an experience you’ll enjoy because when you finally get in a relationship you might never have a chance to date again, so enjoy it while it lasts!