Okay so you have had the talks, the boxes are all packed and the moving truck is waiting outside. They say that if a couple can get through moving, they can get through anything. But even if you feel that you are ready for anything and have a complete and clear understanding of the other person, there are some things you will just inevitably learn that no amount of conversation can prepare you for. So here are some things that you will probably soon find out after you have made the move.
Just how much crap you both have
“One person’s trash is another person’s treasure” never became so evident until now. You are moving two spaces worth of stuff into one space so there is definitely going to be a need to purge some stuff. I mean, you don’t need two toasters, obviously. But what about the sentimental random stuff? You might not understand the value of some of the weird things he pulls out of his boxes but telling him he has to get rid of it just because you think it’s taking up precious closet space for your shoes isn’t really fair. Go through your things together, decide what to keep/sell/toss/donate, and even if you don’t see the point in him hanging on to whatever it may be, just accept it. You probably have a ton of things that he doesn’t really feel are necessary, either (like 27 pairs of heels).
Pet peeves you didn’t knew existed
Pet peeves can develop at any point in life and something your old roommate did that didn’t bother you may drive you crazy when your boyfriend does it. For some reason, we care more about our SO’s actions than other people’s, probably because we feel that we have somewhat of a right to tell them how to live their life because it’s not just their life anymore, it’s both of yours. But try to nip these things in the bud as soon as you can—don’t let it fester or else you will resent him and things won’t come out as well as they could.
Bathroom and hygiene habits
You may think you know about your boyfriend’s hygiene habits already but until you are there day in and day out, you really don’t. He might clip his toenails on the living room couch and you had no idea because he never did it when you were over. And if you’re one of those couples that’s comfortable to use the bathroom together, cool. But understand that seeing him on the pooper is very different from seeing his poop, and it’s something you can’t un-see. If you’re a leave-the-bathroom-door-open kind of couple, be prepared that this will probably happen at some point.
What he’s like when he’s sick
Men suck at being sick so he’s probably a big baby. And even if in the past you’ve played the good girlfriend who brings him soup after you’ve worked all day, you probably went home after to avoid catching the bug yourself. Not anymore. You’re stuck with him and all his moany groany whiney shittiness and you have to take care of him cause nobody else will. And don’t get offended if he wants his mommy, you’re doing a great job and he appreciates you—again, he’s just a big baby.
Roles are interchangeable
Are you responsible for doing the laundry in exchange for him always cleaning the bathroom? Good deal. But if you’re super busy and he needs his shirt washed and you aren’t home to do it, then what? Having clearly defined roles can be helpful but understand they are not so set in stone. The idea is to help each other when it’s needed and pick up the slack for the other person if they have things going on that makes them unable to fulfill their duties. Don’t be so stubborn and don’t be so defined by roles, both of you. Remember, you’re on the same team!
How much you love alone time
Sure, the best part about moving in together is knowing that you will constantly be with that person, waking up to them every morning and falling sleeping with them every night. And that’s great. But what you will soon learn is that alone time is key for both of your sanity and both of your senses of freedom and independence. Just because you are both home does not mean that you need to hang out—it doesn’t even mean that you need to talk to each other. But if you want to be alone, make sure to communicate that nicely. Don’t just shut him out with silent treatment. Being able to spend time alone, together, will make your relationship stronger, happier and healthier. Which is, of course, the ultimate goal!
Just remember, it’s not all going to be rainbows and sunshine and unicorns. It’s going to be hard. But if you can make it through the tough stuff, you will be well on your way to living a long, full life together.