When hot fudge sundaes and girl talk stop doing the trick of soothing your broken heart, you might move on to the next enticing new guy. Your rational self knows that using a new fling to distract yourself from the pain can be a disaster, but it’s also completely possible that it’s an amazing and genuine new romance. If you’re unsure, here are 5 signs that show your post-breakup relationship is probably the former – just a flimsy rebound.
1. You’re not happy unless he’s around
How do you feel when he, and all your friends are gone? Spend some alone time doing some walking / thinking / writing and explore your feelings. If that idea causes you fear or anxiety, then you probably have some serious soul searching to do before you can fall in love again. You have to be ok being by yourself before you can be truly happy with someone else. Otherwise, the people you fill your life with are a distraction.
2. He has no idea about your previous relationship
Not every single person you get with needs to know your romantic past, but all relationships need a certain degree of honesty to survive. If you’ve snatched him up fresh out of the heartbreak parallel universe and you’re still hurting sometimes, he needs to know. If you can’t tell him for whatever reason – you want to avoid talking about it or you’re scared he’ll bolt, the relationship isn’t sustainable.
3. You constantly compare him to your ex
It’s absolutely possible to have a real connection and fall in love with someone right out of a relationship, but only if you truly love him for him. If you can’t stop comparing him to your ex, that’s a sign that you’re transferring feelings from your last relationship to the rebound one. It’s not fair to him, or you.
4. You feel a sense of urgency about him
Ever committed to a strict diet and then one day a chocolate bar pops into your head and you think “I want one. I have to have one. Right now. RIGHT. NOW” ? That’s a sign you only want it because you know you shouldn’t have it. You just want to get it over with before you have time to really and truly think about what you’re doing. If you feel the same way about your guy, for example you just want to send the text, just want to get the first kiss over with, etc, then you probably aren’t too concerned about enjoying it or enjoying him.
5. You’re all about “having fun” right now
Of course, any life altering change will give you a new perspective, but if you’re feeling like nothing matters and “life is too short to be taken seriously” right now, then you’re not in any place to build a relationship. Life is short, but it’s not worth living if you don’t acknowledge the hard stuff and get past it. If you know you’re not really taking this new guy seriously, it’ll be impossibly to build a trusting and secure relationship.