When it comes to love, all rationality goes out the window. Even the smartest women can fall into the trap of making foolish mistakes. Here are some of the most common mistakes, and how to avoid them.
1. Reading into things too much
It’s easy to drive yourself insane reading into something as simple as a compliment or a text. (“What exactly did he mean when he said he liked this skirt?!”) After all, you like this person and may feel like a lot is riding on it. Remember that men tend to communicate on a face value level, and most of the time, reading into things only creates arguments in your head that you don’t need. Give him the benefit of the doubt, and if it bothers you for more than a couple days, address it directly with him.
2. Not letting your guard down
Especially if you tend to be really independent, not giving of yourself enough in the relationship, can hamper growth. Let down your guard, and don’t be afraid that he’s going to take advantage of you or assume you’re feeble. He’ll probably react by letting his down, and you might be surprised at how you connect.
3. Searching for a fantasy
We all know that the fairy tale romance we see in rom coms doesn’t necessarily exist in the real world. As much as we may say we know this, the fairy tale ideal is deeply rooted in all of us – dating back to when we watched our first Disney princess get kissed by the prince of her dreams. Stop searching for perfection and instead gauge your relationship based on how you genuinely feel when you’re with your partner.
4. Being a dating curmudgeon
We all go through phases when seems like our cities are completely devoid of anyone worthwhile. When we’re in that phase, it can be hard to not be critical of everyone we meet, and men tend to be “guilty until proven innocent,” which isn’t fair. Especially if we’ve been hurt by men in the past, women may automatically assume men want to use them or take advantage of them. It’s just a self-defense mechanism. Instead, when you meet someone new, try to give him a blank slate. Who knows – maybe he has a killer relationship with his mom, or is a total sweetheart to his three sisters.
5. Not thinking outside your “type”
There’s nothing wrong with having a type that you usually go for, but if you can’t deviate from that type, you miss out on a lot. Some women won’t even look at a man who is under 6 ft, or doesn’t have a bachelor degree, when height is no real indicator of physical capability, and having a degree, no real indicator of intelligence. A person’s sex appeal isn’t detectable from their outward appearance – give him the chance to see if you two click before you walk away.