Last night… on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 3: Yo Pyeongchang, we’re gonna let you finish, but Snatch Game is one of the best competitions of all time! And so, even though men’s figure-skating was on, we took an Olympic interlude to observe this most sacred of all Drag Race traditions.
And…it was okay! ChiChi Devayne gave a PSA that there is nothing funny about illiteracy by not only misspelling her nametag as “Mya,” instead of Maya, Angelou, but getting lost in improv for a second week in a row as she tried to mine humour from the lauded poet (or, as Tyra Banks calls her, “Oprah’s grandmother”).
BenDeLaCreme brought out TV’s Original Token Gay, Paul Lynde, causing Google searches for “Who is Paul Lynde?” to spike to unprecedented heights. In keeping with BenDeLa’s hot streak, even in a suit jacket, paisley dress shirt, and ascot, she was drop-dead drag royalty.
Shangela was going to wear her good personal friend, Black-ish star Jennifer Lewis’s, Cookie Monster blue fun-fur coat to channel TV psychic Miss Cleo back from the spirit world. But when Ru heard how Irish her Jamaican accent came off, Shangela let Cleo R.I.P. and played Jennifer Lewis herself in all her queenly glory.
Both Shangela and BenDeLa’s bets on fringe-famous icons paid off as they were crowned the top two. ChiChi, Trixie, and Kennedy Davenport, whose blackeyed-susan runway look was considered less Marc Jacobs and more Michaels art supplies store (Carson Kresley called it arts-and-crafts-y), were selected as the bottom three queens.
All that, plus Kristen Chenoweth! Let us crown this week’s queens and their court.
Worst. Guest. Ever.: Marc Jacobs
Dear Marc Jacobs, How dare you come into the Werk Room and bear silent witness to Shangela parading Jennifer Lewis’s Marc Jacobs coat in front of you, only to disappear from the show forever?
Best Attempt To Get Upset About Something Meaningless: Shangela
Okay, do we have this right? Thorgy scribbled a note for Trixie calling Shangela a shady bitch, which Trixie posted in the Werk Room because Milk had also left her a hilariously mean note and she thought they might as well start a viewing gallery? We know that whatever went down, Shangela definitely lost her mind. Shangela, we will tell you what we told Kim Cattrall: getting nasty to prove that someone else is being nasty just makes you look nasty.
Worst RuPaul Impersonation On A Show That Is Actually Called RuPaul: Trixie
The clouds of foreshadowing loomed over Trixie Mattel’s RuPaul impersonation when Kennedy alluded to the trail of flops left by queens who’d taken on Mama Ru in seasons past. Her delivery was very Ru-ian, but there was no comedic timing in her tossed out lines, which landed with a thud. Jealous of her boogie they. Were. NOT!
Best Tears—Genuine Division: Trixie
After admitting of her RuPaul impersonation, “I absolutely faceplanted in front of the person I was impersonating,” Trixie broke down in tears during the judging, admitting that All-Stars was rattling her nerves. She looked like she assumed she was going home as she nodded along to Shangela’s vague speech about who she was eliminating, her pink makeup running. Though Trixie said she felt like she had let her fans down, it was some welcome real emotion on a stumble we could sympathize with (as opposed to, say, Milk’s tears of underappreciation for her underwhelming Celine Dion performance).
Most Sportsmanlike Behaviour By A Duo Or Group: Shangela and BenDeLaCreme
With ChiChi in the bottom for a fourth (!) time, it was starting to seem like the Queens were playing that old reality-show strategy of bringing the worst person to the end so that you have no competition. When Shangela and Ben tied their Lipsync For Your Legacy, it forced them both to reveal who they would have gotten rid of. Both had chosen ChiChi, proving that this sisterhood will not stand for a misspelling of Maya Angelou.
Next week on RuPaul’s Drag Race?: It’s an homage to artist and wig enthusiast Andy Warhol, with The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’s Tituss Burgess and Pretty Little Liars’ Shay Mitchell as guest judges. Will Shangela expose BenDeLaCreme’s sinister plot to deflect that she is such a frontrunner she is effectively playing in season 10 already? Will Trixie recycle her RuPaul wig to play Patricia Arquette in the television program Medium? Will the Handmaid’s Tale twist ever pay off? And does Margaret Atwood understand what is happening here?
Find out on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 3, episode 5, which airs Thursday at 8 PM E/P on OUTtv.
Missed last week’s episode? Catch up on All Stars 3 Episode 3 here!
Main photo via VH1