I know I’m late in posting today you guys but please try and go about your afternoon as best you can, because I know the delay has affected us all. But look — it’s worth it. First, because I made my doctor’s appointment, as per my personal plan. Second, because it gave me some time to marinate on something very important: Adele’s return.
Adele is back.
Or, like, coming back.
So: Adele is coming back.
Put that in your jar of tears (reserved for crying to “Someone Like You” while driving on the 401) and . . . smoke it? Sure.
Anyway, to confirm that the 30-second snippet of new music aired in the UK last Sunday was indeed a precursor to upcoming sonic heaven, Adele took to her Facebook account to tell us who, what, why, and even more why.
“My last record was a breakup record and if I had to label this one I would call it a make-up record,” she wrote. “I’m making up with myself. Making up for lost time. Making up for everything I ever did and never did. But I haven’t got time to hold on to the crumbs of my past like I used to. What’s done is done. Turning 25 was a turning point for me, slap bang in the middle of my twenties. Teetering on the edge of being an old adolescent and a fully-fledged adult, I made the decision to go into becoming who I’m going to be forever without a removal van full of my old junk.”
“I miss everything about my past, the good and the bad, but only because it won’t come back,” she continued. “When I was in it I wanted out! So typical. I’m on about being a teenager, sitting around and chatting shit, not caring about the future because it didn’t matter then like it does now. The ability to be flippant about everything and there be no consequences. Even following and breaking the rules . . . is better than making the rules.”
Well, I mean anyone who’s become a grown-up can tell you that. I turned 30 this summer, and while I was more than excited to set fire to my 20s and walk away in slow motion as they exploded behind me, I’m already feeling the pang of nostalgia for the years where I could do almost everything without consequence. Once upon a time, I thought 20 was old. And now? I realize I should’ve really revelled in my ability to wear a spike belt with a Roxy shirt and flip-flops to the bar, thinking I looked like a million doll-hairs. Now? Guys, I buy shirts based on “oh, I can totally wear this when I’m bloated next week.”
Anyway, Adele added more to her very public reflection.
“I feel like I’ve spent my whole life so far wishing it away,” she continued. “Always wishing I was older, wishing I was somewhere else, wishing I could remember and wishing I could forget, too. Wishing I hadn’t ruined so many good things because I was scared or bored. Wishing I wasn’t so matter of fact all the time. Wishing I’d gotten to know my great grandmother more, and wishing I didn’t know myself so well, because it means I always know what’s going to happen in the end. Wishing I hadn’t cut my hair off, wishing I was 5’7″. Wishing I’d waited and wishing I’d hurry up as well. 25 is about getting to know who I’ve become without realizing. And I’m sorry it took so long, but you know, life happened.”
So: shit, son. If you remember, Adele took some time off to be a mum after welcoming her son, Angelo, and has since been MIA. The speculated date for 25 is November 20, and according to the above sentiments, I think it will be even more emotionally resounding. Because while we may not have all gone through the devastating breakups depicted in Adele’s first two albums, I know we can all relate to the feeling of being a certain age and thinking, “What the fuck, younger me?!”
November 20 (maybe), you guys. You’ll find me the same way I consumed all of Adele’s past albums, crying behind my steering wheel on the 401 between scream-sobs of “It’s true, it’s all so true!”
