We’re four weeks into RHOT and the crew is still in Muskoka soaking up the sun. Here are some highlights.
1. The episode opens with Roxy, Jana, Grego and Joan opting for some paddleboarding, which follows Roxy’s hairstylist being flown in to Muskoka to fix her up. After some grunts, Roxy and the girls are in the water with the JGJ trio (Jana, Grego, Joan) effortlessly paddling away while Roxy decides kneeling on the board is enough movement — standing up “isn’t worth the risk” when it comes to her recently coiffed mane. Nonetheless, the exercise quickly turns into the four sitting on the boards recapping the dock party and all its glory. Oh, and Jana quickly discusses seeing her Muskoka man the night before because, “it’s tradition.” Anyone else want more juice on Jana’s love life?
2. Kara and Ann decide to take a little fishing trip, both seem to be avid fishers, and in true Ann fashion she dresses for the occasion. Ann’s “fishing couture” look is anything but subtle and while she expects bandana-wrapped Kara to laugh, comment or just basically acknowledge the look, Kara doesn’t and Ann’s ploy falls flat. Both ladies try to get fish (alongside Kara’s son Christian who seems to be attached to her hip for most of the episode) and Kara shows off her “patience” when fishing while Ann scurries to keep entertained. Kara catches a fish and gloats about it in true Kara fashion.
3. Switching from the water to the kitchen, Ann is seen whipping up a brunch for he family and although she has five staff members, Ann is all about making and prepping the food herself (yes Ann!). As she sits down with some of her kids and her husband we get a snapshot of what her family setup is like. Her husband Stephen, who is deemed a “higher order vegetarian” (meaning that the animals he eats have eaten vegetables so that’s all the greens he needs), is seen picking at his broccoli and sipping his non-alcoholic beer while it’s mentioned that his recent health conditions have prompted changes in the way he eats and lives. But, it doesn’t change his “we’re privileged, but well earned” mentality as he sits on the dock. Ann on the other hand can’t wait to go jet skiing with Emma (her little nothing of a dog) who soon is hanging on for dear life as Ann flies through the water. Conclusion: Ann is supremely cool.
4. While Kara freaks out about her dinner party prep and chants “you never get a second chance to make a first impression,” the JGJ trio are already drinking and discussing what their secret signals (which look more like baseball cues) will be for the night. The signals range from nose tapping to hair flipping to chin rubbing, but none of them are actually used at the party because drinking is more important.
— slice (@slice_tv) March 29, 2017
5. When Roxy arrives at Kara’s dinner party she is dumbfounded as to why Kara is completely disregarding that it’s her birthday — how can anyone forget about Roxy’s birthday??! Kara does remember, however, to mention Roxy and Ann “rose to the dress code” in a cleverly weird way. After some sips of prosecco, the ladies bring up the fact that it’s Roxy’s b-day and Kara gasps with confusion — how could she forget Roxy’s birthday? She didn’t, but she’ll pretend she did. Luckily we don’t have to worry about too much awkwardness because Kara and Roxy settle their differences, Kara apologizes and Roxy accepts it, and that’s that. Dinner time!
6. Kara’s gone all out for the dinner: she flew in cheese from Italy, consulted a sommelier, paired wines to the courses and has made sure Christine Bib, apparently go-to chef of Muskoka, cooks up something “very Italian” although Kara doesn’t even seem to know what that means. As the ladies begin to sip away the night Kara brings out their gifts: a special cookbook from Italy’s Mama Agata (yes she flew these in too). Only thing is Roxy’s book is not addressed to her, but rather reads “Dear Savitori,” for some reason. Kara is quick to explain that Roxy’s actual copy is somewhere in Italy by mistake and this book is addressed to another person. Of course Roxy’s is the only one with a problem. Roxy gets pissed for a minute and then gets on with the drinking, declaring “my idea of a great dinner party is when I can’t count how many bottles of wine have been finished.” We hear you, we hear you.
7. The ladies get smashed, especially Joan, and Kara becomes infuriated because “no fun allowed” at her party. Fireworks ensue, Joan brings up skinny dipping, Kara shoots down the idea because “her family is present” and then puts an end to the party, but apparently the party didn’t end there.
— Briean Kenward (@brieank) March 29, 2017
8. The next day Kara is so not impressed that SOMEONE LEFT THEIR PANTIES AT HER PARTY. It was Joan by the way (are you surprised?). But don’t worry, Kara has a plan for revenge, thinking the ladies are so hungover they’ll probably puke if they move around too much, she forces them to stuff their faces and then go wakeboarding. Unfortunately, Kara’s revenge doesn’t go as planned and her idea to use the “water banana” and zip around doesn’t make the ladies nauseous. In fact, it just gets Joan and Jana more frisky, each purposely leaning in certain ways to “get a little action” as Jana puts it.
9. After a couple of speedy splashes around the water, all four girls are projected from the float and while the JGJ trio laughs and basks in the sun, Kara, poor Kara, has been injured in the process. Despite her intentions to have the ladies throw up, she ends up only hurting herself. Karma.
We’ll have to wait until next week to see the aftermath of Kara’s injuries, which may include BROKEN RIBS. And the Kara drama continues. See you next week!