Welcome back for another weekly celebration of craze courtesy of the lavish housewives of Toronto. This week’s episode entitled, “Bruised Egos and Broken Ribs,” had moments full of zen, skepticism and quirky gift giving, so let’s get to it. Here’s what happened.
1. The episode begins with Kara waddling around her house barely able to move, after all last week’s Muskoka trip led to her hurting herself and allegedly breaking her ribs. Luckily she has her servants kids gliding around on their hoverboards while attending to her needs, making sure her demands for coffee, a strawberry banana smoothie, laptop and apple slices (with no cores) are all met in speedy fashion.
2. Joan and Grego hit the streets to shop for a special gift for Grego’s 10-year wedding anniversary. The ladies decide that lingerie is the gift of choice so Grego begins to try on modest outfits for the camera while Joan gushes over Grego’s perfect self. They also talk about the need for a Roxy redo, giving Roxy a real birthday party unlike the filler party of last week. It’s settled, Roxy is getting a surprise party.
3. No party would be complete without presents and Ann doesn’t go small on her belated birthday choice for Roxy. Who doesn’t need life-size dog statues made from fibre glass? Ann shows us that even rich people bargain and weasels a designer discount (somewhere between 10 and 15 per cent) out of the owner of the shop, picking up the statues that originally retail for a $1000 each.
4. The ladies (and Roxy’s hubby Raghu) somehow keep the surprise party actually a secret, Roxy has no idea, instead she thinks the party she is headed to is merely a celebration around Grego’s wedding anniversary. Surprise! It’s not and Roxy is soon showered instead with a wedding of people, plenty of booze, a huge cake (with a mini figurine of her and her dog Lola on top of it it) and her massive dog statues or “Lola boyfriend[s]” as she puts it.
5. It’s not long before the smiles turn to cringing eye rolls though. Kara, who is not in attendance, is soon projected on the big screen giving her best Oscars acceptance video speech, err… birthday wishes to Roxy. She’s seen wearing a sling and doesn’t waste time talking about her painful injury and how she can’t do anything. Jana is immediately skeptical and says what we’re all thinking: bruised ribs and a sling don’t usually go hand-in-hand. Could Kara be lying?! Whatever the case may be clearly, as Roxy says, Kara is “allergic to [her] birthday.”
6. “Have you ever been punched in the boob?” is practically the first thing out of Kara’s mouth when she meets Ann for a day date. Apparently being punched in the boob is what Kara says her pain feels like and soon we are all indulging in Kara’s weave of “it’s a broken rib” to “both ribs are broken” comments to her rationale (or lack thereof) as to why she had been wearing a sling. The topic soon shifts to the disrespect Kara felt after her party last week. She let’s it be known that she is not cool with Joan, Jana and Grego (specifically Joan’s drinking) antics and soon divulges to Ann that she in fact attempted to have the girls wipeout on the water weenie. Ann is so not impressed.
7. Have no fear though, sweet sweet Ann, although riled with confusion, doesn’t waste time and gives Kara a gift. As Kara opens it (probably expecting a new designer handbag) she is taken aback at her brand new custom, hot pink sling. Kara pretends to like it, but is more concerned with talking about her upcoming AMBI charity event in which she is in charge of selling tickets. Sling or no sling, Kara isn’t wasting time.
8. Jana, Roxy and Joan are taking part in a sound therapy session to help rid themselves of bad vibes. Roxy sees it as a way to get some sleep so she’s all for it. The three are poked and prodded while zenned-out on the floor to music, each focusing on their breathing and their intentions of being better people and getting rid of negativity. Roxy actually comes out of it a bit emotional, but grateful. Another win for spiritual Jana. But, that doesn’t last too long as Joan mentions a boat party she’e been planning and how she’s “being Switzerland” a.k.a. being neutral when it comes to Kara, whom she already invited.
9. Soon the ladies are all on Joan’s yacht (this lady throws a party like every week!), enjoying some food and champagne. Kara arrives and quickly quips “Ahoy Matey!” seemingly referring to Grego’s outfit of choice and suggesting she looks like a pirate. Even so, Kara tries to put the past behind and gives Joan a large wine glass, a glass that a whole wine bottle can fill, as a bit of a smug reminder of Joan’s “overdrinking” at her party. Funny, not funny. The awkwardness continues with Jana drilling Kara’s physical condition, basically calling her out on her alleged injuries and how things just don’t add up. Did she break her ribs? Is she injured? Why wear a sling? Who knows, who knows.
10. After Jana plays Judge Judy, Kara switches the convo to her upcoming charity event, the event she needs the ladies to attend. She invites the ladies to the upcoming trunk show, which will see exclusive outfits and looks and Canada’s fashion elite all celebrated. More importantly, Kara needs the ladies to shell out money and support designer, Mikael D.
Next week we’ll see how the event goes, which by the looks of the preview looks to be super weird. But, we should get some cuteness in too as Ann asks her husband to marry her again. Until then!