Guys, we’re like halfway through the season. And Corinne is still around. I know. It’s bananas. We’ve gotten approximately 10 seconds of time with the real connections Nick has made and WAY too much time on the Corinne/Taylor dramz. But, alas, we’re back for another week and these are the biggest WTF moments.
1. The episode picked up immediately after Taylor was dumped and left in the bayou with some voodoo witches and alligators. And while Corinne was wining and dining (on cheese pasta?) it up with Nick, Taylor had one last thing to say before she left. She tracked them down and pulled Nick aside to tell him that he’s been lied to and that she’s no bully and that Corinne is toxic and blah, blah, blah. Nick gave the perfunctory “I appreciate you taking the time to tell me this” and followed his penis back to Corinne and proceeding to smooch through the rest of his date.
2. Of course, Corinne delivered another quotable that I will now be saying to everyone who slights me: “Cats may have nine lives, but bitches only have two.”
3. It was another beginning-of-the-episode rose ceremony where Nick decided to skip the cocktail party and go straight to the chopping block, sending Jaimi and Alexis home, though confirming that he too thought she was a shark, not a dolphin. Hopefully we’ll see this aquatic creature in Paradise where she’ll likely thrive.
Never easy to goodbye to anyone, but sending Alexis home… well I’m sorry America. #shewillbemissed #thebachelor #youreashark
” Nick Viall (@viallnicholas28) February 7, 2017
4. The crew headed to St. Thomas (without me) (while I sat and typed this in a cold house beneath a pile of blankets — JUST SAYING) and upon their arrival Nick immediately took Kristina (who?) on a one-on-one date. They had a mini picnic/get-t0-know-each-other chat sesh where she revealed some of her family’s background — but not quite enough for Nick because he kept pressing it later hoping to hear the full story.
5. Even though we had a hard time keeping her name straight, Kristina’s story had us in TEARS as she told Nick about her time in an orphanage (seven to eight years) and having to leave her sister behind in Russia. Like even Nick was crying listening to her.
6. Back at the hotel, a woman named Lorna came in and told the ladies that she was there to assist them. Of course, being nanny-less for so long, Corinne jumped all over it and did her best to make Raquel jealous by asking Lorna to help her with her wrinkly dress and bring her snacks and stuff.
“I love her. Raquel’s gonna be jealous. -Corinne #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/kX75GFxytc
” The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 7, 2017
7. On the group date, Nick busted out his “drunk baby dinosaur” move and Corinne got drunk during a game of beach volleyball. As you do.
The return of the baby dinosaur from @BachParadise! #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/3uy6fUZvFW
” The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 7, 2017
8. Jasmine freaked out because she was over the whole group situation BS and having Nick pretty much ignore her. She vented her frustrations to Nick, basically saying she’s there to get engaged and Nick gave his perfunctory “I really appreciate you sharing with me,” but we all knew that his heart wasn’t in it and she went home.
9. On the two-on-one date with Whitney and Danielle (both in rompers), Whitney was the first to go home, once again being left behind on an island. It wasn’t until later in the evening when Nick and Danielle were alone that Danielle started telling him she’s falling in love that Nick realized his heart wasn’t there with her either and sent her packing too. Yikes. Danielle cried. Nick cried. We all cried.
10. Still in tears, Nick went to see the rest of the ladies and told them that he doesn’t know if he can keep doing this and that he just wants it to be real and doesn’t want to be disappointed anymore. HEART. BREAKING.
What about the whole choking issue. WOOF. That girl should not be there! She needs to be treated with more love for sure.